that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
