it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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