There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
