Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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