How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
