the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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