we're blogging at a bar
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
