oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
