I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
