thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
