How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
