kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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