I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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