Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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