My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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