fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
