Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
