I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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