let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
