So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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