They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
