I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I don't deserve a penis
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
