first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
