Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
