Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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