And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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