Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize
