I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
