Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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