if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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