There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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