So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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