I'm laying in your front yard are you home
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
