i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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