a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
