I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
40s are totally the cure
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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