I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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