I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
