we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
