I can tuck mytits in my pants
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
