so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
