I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
