The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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