I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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