There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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