Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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