Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize