me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
