dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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