well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
