I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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