were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
