Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
